At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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