I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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