i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
