Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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