According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
