Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
