24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
You can't just leave with hair like that
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
