What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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