just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
