this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
