she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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