Everything about him screamed your future.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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