areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize