she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize
