when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
