What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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