Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
