I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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