Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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