I don't think brook has ever known best
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
