ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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