whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize