I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
