And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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