I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
