I heard we made out
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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