OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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