the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
