I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
