she told me i tasted like america
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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