i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Randomize
