So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
