i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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