I'd wear matching sweaters with you
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
should my penis look like a turkey
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
