check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
