Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
foreskin is a definite game changer
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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