what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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