You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Randomize
