McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
