I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
