spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
