Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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