hell yes lets make some ravioli
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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