i just made my gag reflex go away.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
