If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
