I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
