8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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