my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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