so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize