i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
