she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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