finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize