i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
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