She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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