problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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