i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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