HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
