fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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