So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
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