There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Randomize
