You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
